No, Means No. Just Say No! Right? -The complexity of navigating mutual consent in relationships.


No, Means No. Just Say No! Right?                                                                
The complexity of navigating mutual consent in relationships.

By Ayana Chaney
May 22, 2018
 Image Credit: University of Wisconsin-Platteville


Did you know the responsibility of consent belongs to everyone involved? Yes, everyone! The expectation that one person can be responsible for clarifying that ‘it’s not gonna happen’ is simply unfair. Consent is about more than one person saying yes or no. Mutual consent is about the recognition of everyone involved. The recognition of our bodily autonomy, our voice, our silence, our body language, and personal desire. Engaging in mutual consent is about each of us respecting the various ways that we tell one another what we do and do not want for ourselves.

Have you ever said yes to dinner with someone, gone to dinner, loved dinner, and then woken up the next day with an undefinable, uncomfortable feeling? #MeToo. Well what do you remember about the night before?  Can you recall the various verbal and nonverbal ways in which you and the person you were with accepted, rejected, and negotiated participation of the night? Was there mutual consent, an agreement between you and who you were with?  

If you’ve been on the internet, seen the news, or even just in conversation with other humans, then you may be aware of the many ways that our society has changed how we think and talk about gender rights and responsibility in sex and dating. There are a number of platforms raising awareness and revolutionizing how we can actively choose to respond to one another in ways that emphasize mutual consent.

What will you do with your active choices as you navigate the responsibility of mutual consent for yourself and the shared responsibility with others, especially in your relationships with your children, partner/s, colleagues, strangers, family, neighbors, and overall human population?

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