Cultivating a Consensus around Consent


Cultivating a Consensus around Consent
By: Kristen Carney



       The idea of consent can seem ambiguous, which can make it a delicate topic to discuss at home. Because of the ambiguity of consent, it is sometimes never discussed. For the families that do open up a dialogue about consent, it is usually embedded in the context of “the talk” – applying consent to sex and nothing else. Since people connect the idea of consent with sex, many parents wait to discuss the idea of consent until their child reaches adolescence or their teenage years. However, the art of consent can help to create a healthy, empathic relationship at any age.

  • Why are conversations about consent important?
    •  Consent teaches us how our actions affect others
    • Consent creates a culture of respect, empathy, and healthy communication
    •  Consent creates a safe environment for all

Teaching consent should be an ongoing process as children grown and learn. The conversation can be scaffolded over time to apply to the child’s age and developmental stage. According to the Good Men Project, “Parents can start educating children about consent and empowerment as early as 1 year old and continuing into the college years.” Kids should be taught not only about giving consent but receiving consent as well.
  • What does teaching consent look like for young children?
    • Ask your child permission to do things with them like picking them up, hugging them, etc.
    • Encourage your child to ask permission before doing things like hugging someone or taking someone’s toy or food. Wait for an answer of “yes” before proceeding.
    •  Teach your child that consent can be taken away at any time and that consent can be both given and taken away.

What are some other ways you can cultivate consent in your family?

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