The Enormous
Pressures in Your Twenties
Being
in your twenties can be a very exciting and very scary time. While there is
freedom, exploration, and growth, there are also a lot of societal expectations
about when you should be hitting certain milestones. Those who are not meeting
these expected deadlines begin to feel more and more pressure with each passing
year.
In
working with college students I’ve found that each had a very similar timeline
in mind for their twenties: complete their education, become settled into a
career, be in a long-term romantic relationship, and start having their own
family. Because these timelines had been reinforced by society over many years,
problems began to arise for these students when their life started deviating
from this timeline. Like these students, many of us are faced with circumstances
that differ from the expectations placed on us.
Luckily, you can create your own
timeline. There
are many possibilities for the direction of your life. While settling down with
a job, spouse, and kids by age 24 may work for some, it does not have to work
for you. Find what drives you before choosing a career. Take time to travel alone
before getting married. You still have options, even if your parents want to
become grandparents!
Coming in last is not always a bad
thing.
Sometimes pressures arise simply because you’re one of the “last” in your
friend group to “accomplish” something. Maybe you cannot decide on a career
path, maybe you are the only friend who is not married, maybe you’re the last
to have kids. It may not feel good all the time, but it does not mean you are
doing something wrong. Not every journey takes the same path; not every path
leads to the same destination.
As
we approach the time of high school and college graduations, I wonder, in what
ways can we begin to lessen these pressures for the young people around us?
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