Do you hear what I am saying?? By, Joanna Brown

Do you hear what I am saying?? 

By, Joanna Brown

Do you sometimes feel you are talking to a blank wall and no one is listening? When you see a glazed look in someone’s eye, do you feel like you are being ignored? What if communication is happening, but you just do not recognize it? Communication is more than just hearing and verbally responding. Communication is a multi-part process that takes place 24/7 (Yes, even snoring is communicating). Read on to find out how you could be communicating without even knowing it.

As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I believe that we “cannot not communicate, and that all behavior is communication” (Watzlawick, P., Bavelas, J. B., & Jackson, D. D., 1976). Communication can be any behavior someone is demonstrating. Behavior can be a variety of things such as, but not limited to, hand gestures, eye movement, body movement, whistling, and physiological reactions such as swallowing hard, blushing, and sweating. How many times have you known someone was angry or upset without the person saying a word?

When we are trying to communicate with others, we usually communicate with them in a way that is known and comfortable to us. However, we may not recognize that our posture, our facial expression, or even the tilt of our head may be telling its own tale. Occasionally, we might wonder what another person is trying to communicate. For example, when someone walks away, we might assume that he or she is through communicating with us. What if walking away is communicating that the person needs some time to think but does not know how to state those feelings verbally?

Remember that communication is an ongoing process. The way you talk, your gestures, and even how you move your body are sending a message. Learning how you are unconsciously communicating to others can help you ensure that what you are verbally speaking and what you are non verbally expressing match each other. The next time you are in a public place, look around. How many methods of communication can you identify?

If you like these concepts and want to know more check out:

l  Fisch, R., Weakland, J. H., & Segal, L. (1982). The tactics of change: Doing therapy briefly. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

l  Watzlawick, P., Bavelas, J. B., & Jackson, D. D. (1976). Pragmatics of human communication. New York, NY: W. W. Norton.

l  Watzlawick, P., Weakland, J., & Fisch, R. (1974). Change: Principles of problem formation and problem resolution. New York, NY: W. W. Norton.